scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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