I'm going to rape someone's good day.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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