I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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