The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize