gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hippo gnu deer
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
