The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
