I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
