I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
