There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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