i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
