Texts From Last Night

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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

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  (316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg
  Replies (26) Good night (1322) Bad night (4108)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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  (315): The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is. http://tfl.nu/aqok
  Replies (97) Good night (8047) Bad night (1133)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...

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  (516): Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me... http://tfl.nu/nenj
  Replies (13) Good night (8194) Bad night (1380)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well

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  (917): about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well http://tfl.nu/ygjn
  Replies (14) Good night (5165) Bad night (1272)
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  (805): View more from California

  i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party

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  (805): i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party http://tfl.nu/d8gr
  Replies (4) Good night (1989) Bad night (561)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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  (617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (2496) Bad night (774)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.

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  (205): It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time. http://tfl.nu/qk61
  Replies (2) Good night (1200) Bad night (495)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.

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  (719): Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs. http://tfl.nu/ixry
  Replies (3) Good night (1622) Bad night (566)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does

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  (574): No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does http://tfl.nu/khj9
  Replies (8) Good night (1076) Bad night (756)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

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  (469): How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder? http://tfl.nu/t2rf
  Replies (9) Good night (463) Bad night (1759)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness

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  (303): You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness http://tfl.nu/eryk
  Replies (0) Good night (824) Bad night (470)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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  (850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (665)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?

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  (214): As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight? http://tfl.nu/olih
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (347)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.

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  (253): I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened. http://tfl.nu/oovd
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (345)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him

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  (518): He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him http://tfl.nu/5e0h
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (362)

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