Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?