Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.

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(631): View more from New York

So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.

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(512): View more from Texas

I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.

(917): View more from New York City

Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Hopefully she would park on my face.

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(623): View more from Arizona

It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.

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(562): View more from California

I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs

(310): View more from California

the cheaper the better

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