i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?