Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor

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(678): View more from Georgia

I forgot wine drunk hurts

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