I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize