idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
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Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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