I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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