everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
