Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
