like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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