Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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