I need to stop coming to work sober
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
