he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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