Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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