If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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