Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize