Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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