we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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