I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
