he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
