Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
