Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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