yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
