That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i now understand why vodka
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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