How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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