After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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