i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Randomize
