Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
