you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize