remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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