this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
