Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
