He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i think my cat just said my name.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
