Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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