"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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