I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
