Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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