You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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