Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
