you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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