To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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