currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
