Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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