He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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