I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I smell like Dick and happiness
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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