She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
