im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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