She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
